Vanishing

[This post is from my other blog]

So far I’ve been writing about things that happened yesterday or the day before. Well, yesterday I went to check one of my email accounts. This account was my first ever email account. I’m one of those sentimental type people. I keep almost all of my emails. A few times I have gone back and read through a bunch of old emails and felt happy and sad and stuff as I see my past friendships evolve and I realize that I am no longer friends with most of my friends from high school. So, yesterday I went to check my oldest of email accounts and it was totally blank. All those old emails are gone. Now, I would expect that I would have been terribly saddened, but I wasn’t. I just kind of went “hm”. I was a little disappointed, but mostly confused as to why they all suddenly vanished. But there was and still is no great feeling of loss. They were just emails. To read them would bring up old memories. But the memories are in my mind. If I need to remember them I will. If something else triggers memories, they will be triggered. But I don’t need those reminders of past relationships. I have today and that is really all I have. I can’t relive the past no matter how hard I try. Have you ever had the experience when you go back to your old school or church or you drive by your old house and it just doesn’t feel quite as good as you remember it feeling. It feels different. Yet, we try to recapture good feelings from the past and we try to create better feelings for the future. But the way to have a better future is by making the present better.
(was that sappy enough for y’all?)