At Least

(I started writing this post last night at about 10:30.)

There was plenty of stuff that I could do tonight but there was nothing that I really had to do. Finals start on Friday. But I can think about that later.

I walked through the nasty wind from the cafeteria to my room. I don't feel like doing anything that will require much effort. I have been wanting to get back on the internet and read those stories that highlight the awesome way that Jesus lived and therefore show how we should live. I want to read about what it really means to love my neighbor. I might pause for a few minutes and contemplate how much truth there really is in the statement that people are more important than principles.

This afternoon, as I was reading some of those embellished stories about Jesus and I just had to stop and pray. I was filled with such a keen sense of how uncaring I can be, I desire to be loving, I want opportunities to show love. Lord, I’m just like Judas yelling at that woman for wasting the perfume. Lord, help me to see that the individual in front of me at any given moment is far more valuable than any long range plans I may have. Lord, I desire to see through your eyes to feel that empathy and compassion that moved you to help people when you, in your human form, just wanted some peace and quiet for a moment.

6:30 pm, in my room, warm and safe from the bitter wind. My tummy is full of yummy food that I once again forgot to thank God for. I sat down at my computer. Click the internet explorer button, type in my name and password about 5 times, try to get my media player to play a song without freezing up my computer. Oh, right I’ve been wanting to check my mail too.

Knock, knock, knock.

Ugh. It’s probably somebody wanting to ask one of my roommates something. I just got comfortable. It’s alright, no big deal, just go answer the door, tell them you’re the only one here, then come back and sit down.

I open the door and it’s one of the many Josh’s.

“Hi. Is Phillip here?”

“Nope.” Okay time to close the door and get back to my little world.

“Oh. Um...could I ask you a favor?”

“I dunno. Whaddya want?”

“Well I’m supposed to pick Eric up from the airport at 8 but my alternator’s broken. So I don’t have any way to get there and he doesn’t have any way to get here. So could you drive me to the airport to pick him up?”

What in the world? I don’t want to spend two hours of my evening driving to the airport and back. I have been planning to play on my computer. And that’s what I’m gonna do. This isn’t my problem. Let’s keep it that way. He can find somebody else to take him.

I said some almost half truth like, "I'm kinda busy tonight." Well, I was planning on keeping myself busy doing stuff.

"That's what everyone else said. I've asked eleven people already and none of them could help me."

Stinks for you bud. Keep trying. You’re bound to find somebody who will help you at this big ole Christian University.

All I had to do was say, “Sorry. I wish I could help” and close the door and it would be over with. But I couldn’t say those words. It would be a total lie. I can tell a half truth, but not a flat out lie. If I really felt bad for him and wanted to help then I would. There’s no way I could say “wish I could help” if I didn’t. So now I’ve got to ask myself do I want to help this guy or not. I had already decided that I was worthy of not being interrupted, but the real question was whether or not this guy is worthy of my help.

He saw me pause and took it as a sign of hope. So he continued his pleading. “Eric said he would pay for gas and everything. And I’ll go with you. His airplane gets in at 8, so you wouldn’t have to leave until like 7:15.”

Okay. Think. What do I really have to do tonight. Nothing important. I weighed the balances in my mind the pros and cons. Such an inconvenience, but there is really no good reason for me not to help him. My car already has 160 thousand miles on it, what’s another eighty? I don’t have to pay for the gas. I have to spend a couple of hours different than how I had planned, but it wont be that bad. These guys are pretty cool, so it really wont be like torture.

“Yeah, I could probably help,” I said making sure that the sour look on my face conveyed the fact that I really didn’t want to help, but that I was willing to make this sacrifice for him.

“Thank you so much. You’re a really great guy. I’ll come back by at 7:15, okay?”

“Alright. See ya.”

I closed the door and when the latch clicked, so did my heart and my mind. I have been in the same position as him so many times before. I used to have to beg for rides to get here and there. Back then I promised myself that when I got a car I would look for people who needed rides and offer to give them a lift. I have asked people to help me with some things that a Christian should do without a second thought. Money for a missions trip to China, spending a night to help feed and clothe homeless people in Dallas. I wished that people would do the right thing. Well, now was my chance to do what I had wished that other people would do. My chance to do what I had promised myself I would do if I had the chance. God gave me the opportunity to love my neighbor as myself. I should have jumped at the opportunity with excitement. But no, I needed an attitude adjustment.

Today in chapel they read a book by Max Lucado. I think it was called Jacob's gift. The main point of the book was in the line, "When you give a gift to one of God's children it is as if you have given a gift to God himself."

We have the privilege and the responsibility to give gifts to God in a variety of ways.

It’s the last day of November and what am I thankful for? I’m thankful that God kept me from saying no, which I know I would have regretted. I’m thankful that God continues to give me opportunities to serve him even when I blow it. I’m thankful that God continues to teach me about his amazing Love.

So I went to the airport. It wasn’t that bad. It was even a little fun. Eric paid for gas and even bought me dinner. And I got back with plenty of time left to do nothing. My only regret is that I didn’t immediately say, ”Yes, I’ll go.”

note: As i was posting this (at work), they presented the "Above and Beyond the Call of Duty" award to a girl who almost always has a smile on her face, she actually does care about people and never makes people feel like they are a burden to her. Stacy rocks!