so i decided to write something today. since it's new year's eve, i'll write about that. and i'll also write about something else.
first, the something else. "so, what do you want to do?" i really don't care what we do.
from Good Will Hunting:
Skylar: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Will: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
Skylar: What?
Will: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
and so often we find things to entertain ourselves and occupy our time. when hanging out the focus should be on your friends. but so often it seems that we hang out just to not be alone. i'm sure many people in our society know what it feels like to be alone in a crowded room.
and this has become spiritual for me. sadly, i admit, this is where i am spiritually. i find ways to occupy my time so that i dont have to sit face-to-face (one-on-one) with God. how did this happen? i think it was just a gradual process of neglect. first, maybe i became too busy. then, the busyness faded and i got bored. and instead of curing it with my creator, i wasted time with other things. well, enough of that!
and on to The Big Midnight. sometimes i feel like i'm an alien. i think that's a good thing. what's the big deal with january first? everyone knows that the year really starts on april 1. spring, new beginnings. what kind of year starts in the middle of winter?
i guess resolutions are a good thing. but how about them monthly, weekly, daily resolutions. those are the ones that stick.
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Saturday, December 27, 2003
old school journal 12.27.03
a couple of days ago was christmas, and the past week has been chanukah/hanukkah.
for christmas i got gift cards/certificates, a bag for carrying my laptop, pajama pants, headphones, and a peanuts book.
what is hanukkah? well, i learned this week that hanukkah is so full of meaning that one never tires of asking "what is hanukkah?" so ask away. but basically it's a feast of dedication. it celebrates a time not long before the coming of messiah when the jews took back the temple from the greeks who had defiled it with idols and detestible sacrifices.
for christmas i got gift cards/certificates, a bag for carrying my laptop, pajama pants, headphones, and a peanuts book.
what is hanukkah? well, i learned this week that hanukkah is so full of meaning that one never tires of asking "what is hanukkah?" so ask away. but basically it's a feast of dedication. it celebrates a time not long before the coming of messiah when the jews took back the temple from the greeks who had defiled it with idols and detestible sacrifices.
Friday, December 12, 2003
old school journal 12.12.03
so, mtv. that's been my life for the last couple of days, with a little comedy central and cartoon network thrown in.
the videos aren't as enjoyable now as they have been in the past. the videos that i have enjoyed seeing over and over and over are outkast "hey ya" and linkin park "numb" two very different videos. the first light and fun, the second dark and deep. the famous line from the first is "shake it like a polaroid picture" from the second, "all i want to do is be more like me and less like you". in "hey ya" rapper andre ice cold 3000 of outkast plays the various members and back up singers of a fictional rock group. the main colors are bold green and white. andre dances around in such a nerdy way that it's cool. in "numb" linkin park sing in a huge gothic church, while a girl with a sketch pad in hand wanders through school, town and home in slow motion while the world speeds by her, not noticing when she falls down. she vents her pain through paint onto a canvas, then at the end of the song, for some reason she runs into the church where linkin park has been playing, but they're not there. the girls face doesn't look quite as sad.
the video i never want to see again and wish i hadn't seen what i did before changing the chanel is clay aiken's song. he's on an outdoor stage singing to his adoring crowd full of screaming crying girls. there were actually some guys in the crowd too. one of them with tatoos covering his arms. clay looks so akward on the stage. he should stick to standing still, singing slow songs. he prances around the stage with one hand holding the mic and the other arm sticking out like he's ready to be tipped over and poured out.
ok so that was my pointless thing that i felt like writing.
now to close with a quote by kid rock about jonny cash's very good last video. "if it sounds good, you'll hear it. if it looks good you'll see it. if it's marketed well, you'll probably buy it. but if it's real, you feel it."
the videos aren't as enjoyable now as they have been in the past. the videos that i have enjoyed seeing over and over and over are outkast "hey ya" and linkin park "numb" two very different videos. the first light and fun, the second dark and deep. the famous line from the first is "shake it like a polaroid picture" from the second, "all i want to do is be more like me and less like you". in "hey ya" rapper andre ice cold 3000 of outkast plays the various members and back up singers of a fictional rock group. the main colors are bold green and white. andre dances around in such a nerdy way that it's cool. in "numb" linkin park sing in a huge gothic church, while a girl with a sketch pad in hand wanders through school, town and home in slow motion while the world speeds by her, not noticing when she falls down. she vents her pain through paint onto a canvas, then at the end of the song, for some reason she runs into the church where linkin park has been playing, but they're not there. the girls face doesn't look quite as sad.
the video i never want to see again and wish i hadn't seen what i did before changing the chanel is clay aiken's song. he's on an outdoor stage singing to his adoring crowd full of screaming crying girls. there were actually some guys in the crowd too. one of them with tatoos covering his arms. clay looks so akward on the stage. he should stick to standing still, singing slow songs. he prances around the stage with one hand holding the mic and the other arm sticking out like he's ready to be tipped over and poured out.
ok so that was my pointless thing that i felt like writing.
now to close with a quote by kid rock about jonny cash's very good last video. "if it sounds good, you'll hear it. if it looks good you'll see it. if it's marketed well, you'll probably buy it. but if it's real, you feel it."
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
old school journal 11.11.03
the other day i was listening to genny owens. i heard a song that i first heard over a hear ago. it's called "I Am" i used to listen to it often before i would go to witness in dallas.
the song uses the examples of moses, david, and mary. God asks them to do great things for him. but they feel so insignificant and ask how God is going to do this through them.
"it's not your problem, God replies, i can do anything. there's a bigger picture you cant see. you dont have to change the world, just trust in me. i am your creator; i am working out my plan. and through you i will show them I am."
it's refreshing to know that i dont have to change the world. that burden is God's to carry, not mine. when i speak to an unbeliever, it's not my job to change his heart; i cant do that. i must present God to him in the best way i can, but the rest is up to the Spirit. trust and obey, there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.
the song uses the examples of moses, david, and mary. God asks them to do great things for him. but they feel so insignificant and ask how God is going to do this through them.
"it's not your problem, God replies, i can do anything. there's a bigger picture you cant see. you dont have to change the world, just trust in me. i am your creator; i am working out my plan. and through you i will show them I am."
it's refreshing to know that i dont have to change the world. that burden is God's to carry, not mine. when i speak to an unbeliever, it's not my job to change his heart; i cant do that. i must present God to him in the best way i can, but the rest is up to the Spirit. trust and obey, there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
old school journal 9.10.03
i had mushroom pizza today at lunch. but i'm really writing about last night.
it was an evening spiritual saturation service during the altar time. i've been trying to make the most of every moment. last night i got restless. i had prayed and i just really didnt have much else to say. i tried listening and i wasn't hearing anything. should i go outside and maybe there will be someone that needs some encouragement? i didnt feel any prompting to do anything. so i sat there, not wanting to just sit there, but i felt like that's what i needed to do. someone said something like "isn't this atmosphere wonderful?! isn't it great to sit and relax in the presence of God?!" i remember times when i have felt like that. sitting there doing nothing but listening to the music and the cries of the people and feeling peace. but last night wasnt one of those times.
right now we are in eternity. we cant go backwards in time. we have to do now before we can do what is to come.
it was an evening spiritual saturation service during the altar time. i've been trying to make the most of every moment. last night i got restless. i had prayed and i just really didnt have much else to say. i tried listening and i wasn't hearing anything. should i go outside and maybe there will be someone that needs some encouragement? i didnt feel any prompting to do anything. so i sat there, not wanting to just sit there, but i felt like that's what i needed to do. someone said something like "isn't this atmosphere wonderful?! isn't it great to sit and relax in the presence of God?!" i remember times when i have felt like that. sitting there doing nothing but listening to the music and the cries of the people and feeling peace. but last night wasnt one of those times.
right now we are in eternity. we cant go backwards in time. we have to do now before we can do what is to come.
Thursday, August 07, 2003
old school journal 8.7.03
Today for lunch i put a frozen pizza in the oven. i kinda forgot about it, and i burnt it to a crisp. so then i threw it out and made another one. it was slightly overdone, but edible. i felt bad that 50% of the pizza i had cooked had to be thrown out. so i made a third pizza, so that i would have only wasted a third of the pizzas. the third pizza came out perfect. (they were cheese pizzas).
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
old school journal 8.5.03
occasionally my days have themes. today's theme was "culture". early this morning i was thinking about the New Testament references to women. we often dismiss almost everything on this topic by saying "oh that was just for the culture back then." but paul often draws on timeless principles when talking about these rules. and as for other biblical areas that we simply dismiss as cultural, and try to draw some random timeless truth from it, maybe the truth that we're supposed to get from it is tied closer than we think to the literal interpretation.
today at church, with some youth and pastor jeremiah, we talked a little about culture. the american church and american culture. christians often get to comfortable in church. we dont affect the culture, but the culture affects us. we are taught that as missionaries or whatever, we should adapt to the culture. but do we compromise too much sometimes, watering down the gospel for the sake of culture?
i just finished watching a pbs show about hula and hawiian culture. one of the first things they said was that when the missionaries came, they outlawed hula. the people were so passionate about their culture. the focus was on hawiians who live in california, and yet keep the culture alive. a couple of times they showed them praying in a circle holding hands. they prayed to the father, they even ended in the name of Jesus Christ. so it seems like they were Christians. they got up at 6am to practice hula. one time a cop came and told them to quiet down, because the people in the area were trying to sleep in. they were passionate and talked about how hula was a part of every area of their lives. little children learn hula from their families. groups of families come together and are a real community formed around hula.
in many places, the culture revolves around the worship of deities. songs, dances, and art, throughout most of history were totally religious. there was no such thing as secular music. culture is often so cool. and for people raised in a deep rooted culture, it is unthinkable to try to make them behave differently. the problem in my mind arises when the person's deep rooted culture is deeply rooted in worship of false gods.
the only culture practiced in the Bible is Jewish culture. and jewish culture is rooted in the Law. i read Deuteronomy 6 this morning. it talks about how constantly the people of God are supposed to talk about and think about His Word. they are supposed to put reminding symbols in places that they will see often. later they are told to put tassles on their clothes to remind them of God's laws. the times when jews strayed from their culture it was for the worst. they fell into idolatry. in the new testament many of the jews, most of the early christians, resisted hellenization. Jews are a "peculiar people" they are easy to spot. even the ones that arent totally religious. when the nazis were rounding up Jews, everybody knew who was jewish. not just by the stars they were forced to wear, but by how they ate and dressed and observance of the sabbath.
where is the line for us? how are we different from everyone around us? the difference between Christians and the rest of the world is often in what we DON'T do. maybe we should get noticed for what we DO. maybe we need some culture and community.
today at church, with some youth and pastor jeremiah, we talked a little about culture. the american church and american culture. christians often get to comfortable in church. we dont affect the culture, but the culture affects us. we are taught that as missionaries or whatever, we should adapt to the culture. but do we compromise too much sometimes, watering down the gospel for the sake of culture?
i just finished watching a pbs show about hula and hawiian culture. one of the first things they said was that when the missionaries came, they outlawed hula. the people were so passionate about their culture. the focus was on hawiians who live in california, and yet keep the culture alive. a couple of times they showed them praying in a circle holding hands. they prayed to the father, they even ended in the name of Jesus Christ. so it seems like they were Christians. they got up at 6am to practice hula. one time a cop came and told them to quiet down, because the people in the area were trying to sleep in. they were passionate and talked about how hula was a part of every area of their lives. little children learn hula from their families. groups of families come together and are a real community formed around hula.
in many places, the culture revolves around the worship of deities. songs, dances, and art, throughout most of history were totally religious. there was no such thing as secular music. culture is often so cool. and for people raised in a deep rooted culture, it is unthinkable to try to make them behave differently. the problem in my mind arises when the person's deep rooted culture is deeply rooted in worship of false gods.
the only culture practiced in the Bible is Jewish culture. and jewish culture is rooted in the Law. i read Deuteronomy 6 this morning. it talks about how constantly the people of God are supposed to talk about and think about His Word. they are supposed to put reminding symbols in places that they will see often. later they are told to put tassles on their clothes to remind them of God's laws. the times when jews strayed from their culture it was for the worst. they fell into idolatry. in the new testament many of the jews, most of the early christians, resisted hellenization. Jews are a "peculiar people" they are easy to spot. even the ones that arent totally religious. when the nazis were rounding up Jews, everybody knew who was jewish. not just by the stars they were forced to wear, but by how they ate and dressed and observance of the sabbath.
where is the line for us? how are we different from everyone around us? the difference between Christians and the rest of the world is often in what we DON'T do. maybe we should get noticed for what we DO. maybe we need some culture and community.
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